What Emma Learned

There will be many occasions where people try to get you so drunk that you throw up and it is hard to refuse without seeming like a spoilsport, even though they should not be pressurising you to drink. Here are the main times you will feel a lot of pressure to over-imbibe and how you can get out of it:

 When you have been pennied. ‘Pennying’ is when someone drops a penny into your drink and you then have to down the drink, possibly in order to ‘save the Queen.’ This happens a lot a cocktail nights, in freshers’ week, and at St Anne’s.

• HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS. First of all, were you actually holding the drink? You can argue that it does not count if your drink was on the table at the time of pennying, because otherwise where is the skill in avoiding pennying? Alternately, make sure that there is never very much in your cup, so that an enforced downing would not be disastrous. Finally, you could do some pre-emptive pennying: have coin ready and try to get it in the person’s drink as they reach over to penny your own. Good luck.

 When people are doing shots, either in a pub or before/during a night out. People with a high alcohol tolerance will do shots to try and get drunk faster or to prove awesomeness. I wouldn’t bother with them, as they are horrible and massively increase your chances of throwing up later, but if you do decide to do one, chuck it down your throat, try to swallow it as quickly as possible, and then control the inevitable gag reflex.

• HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS: Try simply refusing, and hopefully everyone will be too drunk already to insist or remember later on. When invited to do a shot, I will usually say, “No. Because I WILL throw up,” and I recommend that you do the same. It can feel like you’re being a spoilsport, but this is better than the consequences of doing the shot. Once you’ve done a free sambuca shot and spent the rest of the night throwing up, you will find it easier to say with conviction and without shame.

At some sort of posh drinks party, where waiters and the hosts go around topping up glasses of wine and cajoling you to drink more.

• HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS: Firstly, cover your glass with your hand and mutter about having had enough. Put your hand on your stomach and groan lightly. If they don’t go away, say something like, “I’m on antibiotics” or “I think I might be sick. Where is your nearest puke point?”

I am sure it is much harder to get of drinking too much if you’re a boy, so I’d appreciate any fail-safe suggestions for what boys can do.

SUGGESTIONS FOR BOYS:
As Emma says above, it is often harder for boys to refuse drinks than girls. Pressure is especially high at meetings of the various drinking societies that will no doubt exist at your college. There is another way, however. Here’s something I once picked up from the Cookie Monster.

It may come as a shock to many, but the Cookie Monster doesn’t actually eat any cookies. What he does is stuff cookies in his mouth, chew manically, and let the pieces fall to the floor. To children, this gives the impression of an orgiastic frenzy of cookie-eating, but take a closer look and you’ll find that he hasn’t actually eaten a thing. Clever Cookie Monster.

The wonderful thing about what the Cookie Monster does is that it can be transferred to drinking. If you have been pennied, for instance, and have a full pint of something you’re not really too keen on drinking, simply lift the glass to your lips, open your mouth, and proceed to pour the contents all over your face. You may like to swallow some of the drink to add to the drama, but most should end up over your face and your top. Inebriated onlookers will think that you were so keen to drink the thing that you spilt some when you were drinking it! Little do they know, you have poured 90% of the drink on the floor. A masterful escape worthy of Mr Houdini himself – or, indeed, the Cookie Monster!